Why did the Cave man drag his Cave woman home by her hair??? Cuz if he drug her by her feet her pussy would fill with dirt.

Friend of mine brought over some home made venison jerky. we offered a piece to the Hottie next door, as she's chewing he says"guess what kind of meat it is" She shrugged... he say's it's what yer mom calls yer dad every morning. she spit all over us and screamed in horror "It's ASSHOLE!!!?!?!"

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.

"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."

The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!".